Wednesday, December 28, 2016




Saturday, February 20, 2016

Short practice to pop the bubble


Ever have a bubble in your throat? You know the desire to scream, bitch, cry, drop the diplomacy and just spill it sista! Yeah... that's pretty much my Thursday(s). The small gnawing behind my eyes that was just an annoyance on Monday has matured into what will be a  thumping menace by end of day Thursday. Aargh!
Relax. Friday is coming.
And the following morning flow helps pop the bubble and keep my filters somewhat intact.


1. Tadasana
2. Standing yoga mudra
3. Hands to floor - Forward fold
4. Tadasana
Repeat 3 x
-------

5. Tadasana
6. standing yoga mudra
7. hands to floor - forward fold
8. rag doll
-------
9. from rag doll spread feet a bit more than hip width apart
10. bend knees - hands on thighs - lengthen into a jackknife back
11. Standing cats & cows - 3- 5x
12. wide stance tadasana
13. drinking bird - legs straight, hinge forward into a flat back, arms beside hips*
14. rocking horse - deeply bend knees - lift body up - arms beside ears*
15. drinking bird
16. standing cats & cows 3 -5x
17. catcher's twist - hands to thighs, knees bent, long spine - twist through belly, chest to look over one shoulder, then the other.  - 3 - 5 x
18. Tadasana
______

19. Downward dog
20. Plank
21. Downward dog
Repeat 3 x holding each posture for 5 breaths.

___

22. Downward dog
23. lift rt. leg, bend knee, stack rt hip on top of lft.
24. extend rt. leg up into 3 legged dog
25 ease onto lft. knee
25. modified side plank


26. Hands and knees
27. thread the needle
28. down dog
Repeat on other side

_______

29. From down dog - hero's posture
30. breath of fire - 2 minutes
31. sphinx - lion's breath
32. puppy stretch
33. cobra - lion's breath
34. puppy stretch
35. upward dog - lion's breath
36. crocodile - deep sigh
37. Downward dog
38. Cobblers pose w/twist.
39. Sitting meditation.

Breathe.

OM SHANTI

*This video demonstrates "drinking bird" and "rocking horse" and is also a sweet little flow.





Friday, February 19, 2016

“Accepting means you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the isness of the Now. You can’t argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer.”  ~ Eckhart Tolle - 



Depression is anger turned inward. So they say.

Depression is feeling as if there is nothing to be grateful for but knowing that there is much to be grateful for then searching for something to be grateful for, finding something to be grateful for & acknowledging, but still feeling just ..... meeeehhhhhhh ... all over.  Then feeling guilty for feeling like an ingrate, then being pissed for being such a loser Then feeling pissed for being pissed and so on.

Then the clouds break and the heart and the head are in agreement. There is always something to be grateful for. Ahhhhhhh. Hope. Happiness. Yay.......

Then the heart skies darken and gratitude dissipates and the feeling of nothing returns and ....so on and so on......

It's wise to recognize the ebb and flow of depression. Recognize & detach. Feeling that each emotion is going to last forever is so easy.  Each emotion is so intense that surely the feeling must be impenetrable. It must be permanent.  Yes?

Nope. Just feels that way. What can be permanent is the reaction to these dualities. We try to hold onto the "happiness" and when that feeling begins to fade we get angry with ourselves for .... I don't know, not working hard enough, not doing the right kind of work? Not being able to process like everyone else? Not getting enough accomplished during the Up time? I don't know. There is just anger ... and sadness. Deep sadness.

Or maybe, this is just me.

Yes. There is medication for aaalll this. However, I've seen people on meds cycle in and out of their emotions hard & fast, never stopping to look past the surface of it all. People just floating around shrill and happy during the up times, then, just in a hole for weeks during the not so up times.

Yes, my experiences are easy compared to others. I have never been "clinically" diagnosed. I also wasn't allowed to give into my not so up times when I was an adolescent (or, I wasn't allowed to do so socially, I guess). No matter how I was feeling there were still expectations about fulfilling responsibilities.
"You think you sad now? Think how sad you'll be if you lose your job and have no money to go out with your friends."
So, I learned how to posture which is not necessarily a bad thing.

And now, I kind of know my triggers. I feel the changing of the seasons very deeply - especially summer into fall. Springtime in Ohio affects me because springtime is often nonexistent in Ohio. And winter  is rough, rough rough. Summertime can be a downer. Often it's just like winter, only warmer. The struggle to meet responsibilities and enjoy the short warmth is frustrating at times.

I also fluctuate between wanting to be alone and wanting to be around people. Sometimes pictures on Facebook of people socializing can put me a little down. But usually the anxiety associated w/socializing is larger than the desire to socialize. I'm really more of an introvert in an extrovert's line of work. I need a lot of quiet time at the end of the week (or sometimes the end of the day). But I also desire to do activities that require I am around people. And that madness can make me angry.

Personal confrontations can throw me off balance. I'll argue 'til the cows come home about a big picture subject,  but quickly cave in and accept personal affronts in order to keep peace. This can make me spiral.

Lately I have been trying to be more aware of my glimmer. That's what I call it anyway. It's my light of hope, strength & belief (or again, hope) that everything is as it should be and I am walking my path for a reason. Everyone has a glimmer. Mine is a blue flame that sits between my solar plexus and my heart. I don't know why. This is just where I've always felt it. Yours may be a sunset in your navel or feel like a small whisper in your heart or simply a deep "knowing" that sometimes seems to get buried under the clutter of questions. Sometimes my glimmer is a flame. Sometimes, it's very very small like an ember. But, it's always there.

It's always there.