Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Breathe.....

Breathe.
Let go.
& remember the this moment is the only moment that you know you have for sure.

                 ~Oprah Winfrey~


This is on my email signature. The thing with putting a quote on my email signature is that i see it ... frequently & i begin mulling it over & over & over..... until it begins to mess with my own mind.  & it has. 

"Breathe. Let go." - I am pretty cool with that. 
"And remember that this moment is the only moment that you know you have for sure" Uh oh.
Simple true statement about the fragility of our physical existence that can make a person stop and mull. 

The tenuousness  of life is easy for me to accept. A childhood spent in the pews of a fire and brimstone Baptist church certainly prepared me for my eventual & perhaps immediate demise.

We are a quantity oriented society. We want more. Always want more and bigger bigger bigger. But in this quest the idea of quality sometimes gets lost. And, Oprah's quote got me thinking about the quality of my moments (Darn you Oprah.) & .... the idea that each of my moments is the "only moment" i know that i have for sure. 
There are 1,440 minutes in a day. Yes, the word "minute" refers to a specific quantity of time & the word "moment" is most usually used to describe an experience. But both are defined as denoting an indeterminate short period of time. 

So, breathe. Let go. And relax into your experience. Sometimes, this is really easy. But sometimes..... not. Lately I've  had a series of moments that if they were my very last moment(s), i would feel like the butt of a big cosmic joke. "Oh .... and now i'm dead. Well, that's just a fine how do you do!"

The bottom line is that i cannot always choose my moments. I cannot choose the moods of the boss, the habits of other drivers, the weather, etc. All i can try to choose is my reactions. And sometimes - often --- o.k., frequently, i don't choose very well. It's easy to allow myself to be pulled into a riptide of emotion - anger, frustration, etc. Riding quietly above all this is the challenge.  So, how do we get into that hovercraft of calm detachment and find comfort in moments of  discomfort?

Here are some things that I try to remember:

1 - Breathe...... deeply. Yep, just like Oprah says. Sometimes uncomfortable moments causes the breath to become quick and shallow as our bodies prepare to take some kind of defensive action. Since most of our present day stressful situations do not include hand to hand combat or outrunning lava flows, chest breathing can hinder our reactions. Sending the breath down deep into all 4 corners of the body will help to keep the nervous system balanced and the mind at ease.

2 - Share your breath - We often feel that we are alone in our misery. Maybe that is why misery loves company? But rest assured that whatever you are going through, there is most likely someone else going through the exact same thing. You are not the only one with a disrespectful teenager, a cranky unrealistic boss, overly needy spouse or whatever the momentary issue is. Think of how many people are being bitched out between 9 - 10 in the morning in meetings all over the world. It's not just you. It's not just me. So, sometimes i try this - Breathing in i let myself sink into the nastiness of the moment. I fully absorb what is happening - every minute feeling and i realize that there is someone, somewhere going through pretty much the exact same thing. Breathing out i send not only myself comfort but also put good feeling out to everyone who is suffering in the same way.

3. Suffering shared is suffering halved. This follows the same thought process as number 2. The Dalai Lama was traveling through a very impoverished area. Starvation, sickness, were everywhere. During this trip he became very ill & suffered great pain. He shares that as he laid in bed suffering, it would have been easy for him to fall into self pity. Instead he meditated on the suffering he had seen. Doing this allowed him to put his suffering and the impermanence of his suffering into perspective. Instead of dropping into a negative mind set, he practiced metta meditation & sent wishes of good health & happiness out to those he has seen.
Sometimes the moments that feel most huge are really rather minute. Stopping and sending energy to those going through really intense stuff often helps us to ease back into a more balanced mind set.

4. This too shall pass. We and everything are in constant state of flux. The gridlock will ease. The job situation will change. Just hang on & know that the next moment may be be completely different than the present one - not necessarily better or worse - but different.

5. Laugh. Yeah, just laugh. There are so many health benefits to laughter including increased immune system,  & an increase in endorphins. Laughter is a wonderful aerobic workout for all of the internal organs. And it's a great stress buster. The coolest thing is that the body does not know if the mind is faking it. Of course busting out in a hardee-har-har during a meeting with the boss would probably just result in couple or more days off without pay. But sometimes i can excuse myself to the rest room for some silent giggles. Or if  in public, whip out the cell phone and imagine a friend just told  the best joke ever. This may sound like the rantings of a crazy person. But believe me - there is feeling of lightness, of being cleansed after a silly session of laughter yoga.

6. And back to the breath with a mantra. The most frustrating thing about frustration is how easily i can get thrown off balance. No matter how committed i am to keeping my yogic cool, stuff can just knock me right off my lotus. So sometimes getting through my muggle day is simply about reminding myself of my Self. Sometimes working with a mantra helps with this. With the inhale, mentally say the word "so" & with the exhale the word "hum". So ..... hum...... so ....... hum. This translates as "I am" or "I am that". This sometimes helps me to stay grounded and also lifted. Sometimes if the day is really crazy, reminding myself that i am a breathing creature helps to bring me back. So, with the in breath - "breathing in, i know i am breathing in" & with the out breath "breathing out i know i am breathing out". This is taught by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hahn. He suggests taking the koan into the day and remembering to repeat it as often as possible. In his Buddhist community, Plum Village, a bell is rung intermittently  throughout the day as a reminder to stop and breathe. Because no matter what is happening, no matter what the world tries to take away, no matter the frustration, we have our breath.

Always come back to the breath.






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